Totally Worth It
by Jakob Martin
Summary: This will be my MaleShep/Tali story. I plan on doing all Tali scenes from ME2 with an aftermath chapter or two. Might do ME3, but I'm unsure.
1. Poor Drive Core

"Error… Invalid Parameters…"

"Drive Core Update, Aborted…"

Tali let out a sigh as she stared at the scrawling message on the monitor as it spelled itself out for her for the seventh time. "Keelah, I'm never going to finish this!" she exclaimed as she lowered her head. The quarian had a fever. It wasn't a bad one, but it bothered her enough to cause some serious irritation.

_I must be making a spelling error or something. I swear I've done it right this whole time! All seven times I've done it right but this core doesn't want to work!_ She thought to herself.

As if she could read minds, EDI's voice sprang to life on the intercom in the room. "Miss Zorah, it seems that you are experiencing difficulties with drive core. I would be more than happy to help."

"Keelah," Tali whispered. "No, EDI. It's fine. I've got it." She said in her nicest voice she could bring up. _And now the A.I. wants to help. Joy. _"Very well, Miss Zorah." EDI responded. The intercom fell silent again and Tali picked up her head. She again began typing away at the keyboard.

At that moment, she could hear the door behind her swoosh open. _Oh great. Who could this be? _Tali annoyingly thought to herself. Just her luck, it would probably be someone coming to comfort her after the recent loss of her father. Although it had just recently been discovered by her, it was a touchy subject with Tali. She had just been narrowly saved from being exiled from the fleet or having her father's name smeared. Shepard had miraculously whipped up a perfect and brilliant speech of how good Tali was and how she would never betray the fleet. John had saved her. It wasn't the first time however. It would most certainly not be the last either. Tali turned around to see who the visitor could possibly be. Much to her surprise it was the only person she'd be happy to see at the moment.

"Shepard, what can I do for you?" Tali said to her commander who had just entered wearing his usual Cerberus garb. She liked seeing it on him and so did the rest of the crew. It was what the majority of the crew wore so it made him feel and seem more at one with his crew. It showed a symbol of equality that you just had to respect. Shepard wore it differently though. His finely tuned body seemed to make the clothes 'pop' more. The uniforms weren't really designed for big muscles like John's, so they made his body seem even more perfect than it already was.

"Have you got time to talk?" Shepard responded. It was his usual intro to Tali, as he had been interested in her since she had rejoined the Normandy crew.

Sighing in relief to herself, she answered. "Sure." She glanced over to her omni-tool and the same error message popped up for the eighth time. "Let me just…" She retyped the input command to update the core for the ninth time. The omni-tool processed the command for only a split second before it spelled out the ninth error message she had received in the past five minutes. "Come on you little bosh'tet!" she exclaimed. She quickly realized that Shepard was in front of her. She had the upmost respect for John and felt a little embarrassed. "Oh sorry," she apologized hastily. "I've got a small fever and I'm taking it out on the poor drive core." Tali explained. She saw a worried face strike John and she felt terrible for throwing it at him. He looked legitimately worried for her and she really liked it. She knew though that she didn't want John feeling bad. "Don't worry, it's nothing serious." She assured him. "Got sloppy while doing some suit repairs." She lied. Truthfully she was doing some heavy crying and thinking about recent events and didn't want them to spoil their conversation.

"I don't know if I could live inside a suit my whole life." John responded.

This sentence seemed to spark an impulse in Tali's brain. She, unwillingly, linked her family issues to the conversation at hand. She just couldn't seem to shake her dad from her head. "We're in our suits even among family. The most intimate thing we can do with another quarian is link our suit environments." She paused briefly thinking into finer detail. "We get sick at first, and then we adapt. It's our most important gesture of trust," She explained. "Of acceptance." Tali thought about how she'd seen that done but had never taken part in an actual environment link herself. It wasn't that she didn't want to, it was just that there wasn't really anybody she wanted to link suits with though. "I haven't trusted anyone enough for that, though." She said. _That's not true. This is your chance. Explain your feelings for him. _Tali thought. Ever since she had met Shepard she had always had feelings for him. She was just a scared child on the original Normandy and barely breathed a word to Shepard. Now she was a pilgrimage-successful quarian who had confidence… for the most part.

"Except…" She started. _ Do it. Do it now! _"Well, no quarians." _Come on! Explain! _" Um… You know what I mean." She finished awkwardly. _Really? You had your chance to emit your feelings and you blew it? _Tali was little ashamed in herself but tried to brush it off.

"I appreciate the thought, Tali, and I feel the same way. But you don't have to prove anything to me." Shepard quickly responded.

Tali seemed to become very nervous at the exact moment he told her he felt the same way. Her emotions started to get excited but she reassured herself that he only mentioned trusting her. John never said he had feelings for her like she did. Still, in a nervous wreck and hoping for more, Tali responded with a mess of words. "I know. Well, not that know, but I didn't mean it like that. It's um…" Was it getting hot in there or was it just her, she wondered. "Wow, it's really hot in here." She then realized that it was most likely just her and her feelings, not the fever. She felt like she should explain the situation to Shepard a bit more so she could decipher what his feelings for her actually were. "It's just that the tradition also signifies a willingness for, um…" She quickly thought for a better word than love, intercourse, and sex. "…intimacy," Said Tali. "I wasn't trying to…" When in-fact she was, "It's not always like that." When in-fact it was, "It's more…" Tali started to sweat profusely. "How did we even end up talking about this?" Tali asked when she fully knew that it was her emotions that drove the conversation this way. Shepard instantly smiled a half-smile.

"Wait a minute." John said.

_Oh Keelah…_

"It sounds like you're suggesting something, Tali." He continued.

_Quick, think of something clever and witty!_

"What could I possibly be suggesting," She said, in a flirty voice.

_Got it!_

"I mean, a young woman gets rescued by a dashing commander who lets her join his crew and then goes off to save the galaxy?" Tali exclaimed.

_I'm amazing!_

"How could she possibly develop any kind of interest in him?" She finished.

Shepard's smile turned into a complete smile.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Tali. I feel the same way about you." John responded.

After that, time seemed to slow down for a second as her mind processed his exact words down to that last syllable. Tali then got it. _Keelah, he does feel the same way! I knew it! I can't believe it! I- I- I am leaving him standing there in silence! Speak! Speak! _"Really? I didn't… you never… Well, good," Tali saved herself."Anyway, I should get back to work. But… thanks . For coming by. And talking. "

Tali couldn't believe what he said. She couldn't believe what she said.

_Oh, Keelah. That was so unprofessional? What have I done?!_

As the commander walked away she started to worry but then realized something much more uplifting. John had confirmed his feelings for her. She turned back to her console and began to type the phrase again. She pressed the enter key. The monitor scrawled back.

"Input confirmed…"

"Updating…"

"Updating…"

"Drive Core modification updated successfully."

Tali smiled.


	2. Always A Risk

"Have you got time to talk?" John asked.

"Yes, I'd like that," Tali'Zorah responded.

She motioned for him to follow and so he did. They left her console for the more private location of the core room. It was quiet and cut off from the rest of engineering. Tali, knowing were the conversation would go, like the idea of privacy. As they walked to the edge of the walkway, she immediately spoke.

"I've been thinking about the last time we talked." Tali nervously said to Shepard. She started to dip her head a bit and apologized. "I'm sorry. I was unprofessional, and I wasn't thinking rationally. I was being stupid. And selfish." This seemed to rise up one of Shepard's rare big smiles as he responded.

"You've never been selfish. If anything, you've spent too much time thinking of the Fleet and not enough thinking of yourself." John answered.

Tali, even though she loved the thought of him saying these things, she had responsibilities that demand she think this way. "That might be true for humans, but quarians are different. We can't just…" She paused and thought. "We have to think of other people. Always." She continued on. "If we don't think about the needs of the whole crew, people could get hurt. Maybe even killed." Images of Tali's father and his crew-mates flashed in her head but she quickly shook them away. "You deserve to…" Tali started to feel her heart sink as she spoke. "…be happy with someone. I can't do that. No matter how much I…" She felt worthless and as if she was nothing more than a relationship-roadblock for Shepard. "…I could get sick. Jeopardize the mission." Tali began to feel sad.

"Are you saying you could die if we were together?" John asked.

Tali, trying hard not to be emotional, answered the commander honestly. "It's always a risk. Maybe the reaction would be minor. Maybe it would put me down for a few weeks. Or maybe it would kill me. But… That's not what I'm concerned about, Shepard." She looked up to the commander straight in the eye, holding back her feelings. "I don't want you distracted. I don't want what I want to hurt this mission. It's too important." While Tali didn't want anything bad to happen, like distractions and jeopardizing, she did want to be with him. More than Shepard, and she, knew it.

"And if you weren't jeopardizing anything?" John asked.

At that point, Tali started to let her emotions ease into the conversation. "If it were just me?" She confirmed. "You risked your own life to save the colonists on Feros, two years ago. Nobody else could have saved them. I watched your face as Lieutenant Alenko died on Virmire. I watched you stand against everything the galaxy threw at you." Tali's emotions became more and more strong in her words as she continued. "I've watched you for so long… and I never imagined you'd ever see past…" She put her hand up to her mask for a second and caught herself on her own words. "This." She hung her head slightly forward. With her words out and in Shepard's mind, she was sure that his next sentence would be along the lines of: _Well if that's what you think. _Or: _It wouldn't work anyway._

"Tali, if you're scared," he said.

_Keelah, here it comes. I told myself a million times before he came down here that I'd be ready for this… but… _

"I don't blame you."

_Oh I- Wait…_

"But I don't want anyone else," John continued as he walked towards Tali.

On impulse, she stuck her hands out ever so slightly and looked down to them as he grabbed them in his and did the same.

" I want you. " He said.

They both looked up, into each other's eyes.

And I'll do whatever I have to to make this work." Shepard finished.

Tali, whose heart nearly skipped a beat or two, was at a loss for words. This wasn't the reaction she expected, but it was the reaction she wanted and more. She tried to say something, anything, but couldn't seem to decide what to say before she spoke.

"I… I wouldn't blame you, if…" Tali stammered fully starting to understand what Shepard had told her. "But…" She continued to review the words over and over until she finally understood and found a slight sliver of peace within them. "Oh." She said relieved and surprised. "Thank you." She could almost feel the excitement start to build up as the tiny sliver of peace grew larger and larger. "You don't know what that… Thank you." She said.

As her mind started to think of all the pros and cons she knew that she had to take some time to figure it all out and think on it. However, she would only need to think about the finer details, because she had made up her mind. She wanted to be with Shepard and she was going to make it happen. "Give me a little time," Tali requested. "I'll do some research. Figure out how to make this work."

"What can you do?" John said with an eager smile. "Can I help?"

Happy to know that the commander was as eager as her made her feel even more comforted. Knowing that Shepard wasn't much of quarian biology expert, she tried to simplify her answer. "There are a few ways to temporarily improve my immune system. Imumuno-boosters, antibiotic injections, that kind of thing. I'll spare you the details," she explained. "But trust me, I've got plenty of motivation to figure something out."

"It can't be that uncommon for a quarian to have a relationship with another race," said John.

"Sure. But in most cases…" Tali started to explain a she took the commanders left hand in both of hers. "… Everything is happening outside the suit. Nerve stimulation programs and such. " She looked up from their hands to his face. "I don't want that. If I'm going to be with you, I want it to be real. I need to feel your skin on mine." Tali's mind went wild with thoughts of feeling Shepard's hands running down her cheek, feeling his lips against hers, and being able to see his face with her own eyes. Not through a mask. "I've never shown my face to anyone," she confined. "… But I'm ready to show you. If I can do it without dying." Tali finished, feeling happier than ever. There was a moment of silence as they stared into each other.

"Do your research quickly, Miss vas Normandy. Captain's orders." John teasingly said.

Tali almost seemed to shudder and melt as he said it. As she continued to melt in his hands, she spoke.

"Oh yes… Most definitely…" She said. "Until then, I should, you know, do something," Tali stammered as she tried to close the conversation for some thinking. "Repairs. For the mission." Tali. Knowing the commander was watching her every move tried to make her walk a little bit more appealing. However, when trying to show her hips off mid-walk, she tripped a bit over herself and whispered to herself. "Bosh'tet!" Shepard just smiled as the excited quarian walked to her console at her post.

Tali, now in-front of her console, got herself ready to work. Although, instead of pulling up her usual check-up program she pulled up the extranet and made a search.

'Keyword: quarian human relationship'

She hit enter and pulled up her personal files while the search was taking place. She pulled up a video and linked the audio to her helmet. The screen flashed up the title screen.

"Fleet and Flotilla"


	3. I'll Find A Way

"I'm as free as the dust in the solar wind." She said to her turian companion.

"Got time to talk?" a seemingly human voice interrupted.

"Keelah!" Tali exclaimed as she franticly hit a button to pause and hide the video. Although the video was not being shown, a rather large tab still displayed "Fleet and Flotilla – Paused 39:48"

She turned around, acting as if nothing had happened, and saw that John Shepard was the source of the voice. "For you? Of course." Tali stepped closer to Shepard to conceal the conversation from Donnelly and Daniels. "I can't tell you how much what you said means to me." She admitted. Tali had been thinking about their conversation since the moment it ended. It got her so happy that she decided to watch a favorite movie of hers that always had a sentimental feel. 'Fleet and Flotilla'. It was a movie about the romance of a quarian and a turian whose duties seemed to get in the way of their love. In the end the two ended up living happily ever after, but that's how all love stories end. It was pretty cheesy but Tali had to watch it for old times' sake and how it had related to her current dilemma. Whenever Tali was younger she would always crack out this movie when she would have a sleepover with some friends. She had always fantasized about finding her true love and having to overcome great obstacles to make their love stronger. All of her friends teased her about her hopeless romance, but she didn't mind. Thinking about her and Shepard's situation immediately had clicked on Fleet and Flotilla in her mind. She had watched it 15 times in-between then and her last conversation with Shepard.

"But I understand if you need to find something…" She rephrased her words. "Someone… else." Tali wanted nothing but the best for Shepard and had hoped that she wasn't any kind of inconvenience for him or the crew. She had always been like that. Worrying about others before herself. That's what quarians are taught when growing up in the fleet. "The fleet is always your number one priority," is what they would always tell Tali in school and at home. They'd tell her that just about anywhere. It was a life lesson that just stuck with her. Although, she did have her needs as well and decided to add a bit to the sentence. "Not that I'm complaining if you're still interested." Which she wasn't at all. She was excited and wanted this to happen more than anything else. Whenever she talked to him, the idea of 'them' would always overwrite her mind. The troubling thoughts of impossible odds and Collectors seemed to just disappear and fade-away under the massive dream that was 'them'. Just to check herself and get her bearings straight, she asked him for confirmation. "Um, are you still interested?"

"I don't want to risk your health…" John said.

_Oh?! What?!_

"But I'm willing to wait." He finished.

_Oh, Keelah. I was so worried. He… he actually does care for my health._

"Thank you," she said. "I want you to see what's under this damn helmet," Tali said, stepping closer and putting a hand on his arm. "I need to feel your skin against mine." She went on and on, imagining her usual thoughts on the matter of skin contact with him. "To share myself with you before we fly off into the final battle."

Determined and confident in herself she backed away and said, "I'll find a way."

Tali then returned to her console as the commander smiled and walked out of the deck. Tali looked around to make sure none was near and brought up her hidden tab.

She pressed play.


	4. The Good Doctor

Tali stood outside the door, cursing and telling herself to just go in and say it.

_He's a doctor, of course he'll have answers and chemicals that we need. I'm sure he has patient confidentiality and all that just like any other normal doctor. Except Doctor Solus isn't normal. Oh come on, bosh'tet! Just go talk to Mordin. Ask him for recommendations and remedies and get out. It'll be easy. That-a girl. Let's go._

Tali pressed the holo-button on the door and it swooshed open. There stood Mordin Solus, looking back at her surprised.

"Miss Zorah, how nice of you to stop by. Please, come in." Mordin said, speaking fast as ever.

"So Mordin, I was wondering about something to do with biology…" Tali started.

"Ah, biology! One of many specialties. What is it you want to know Miss Zorah? What makes a volus tick? What irritates the skin of a newborn elcor? Or how about, hanar reproductive organs and how they function?" he asked, waiting for her question.

"Well it's nothing like that. It's more of a personal question. About quarians and their exposure." She continued, trailing the question, as if trying to avoid it.

"Wanting to leave suit for a while? Could have EDI purify room. Could supply special tonic to bolster immune system to ship's artificial air. Is that what you are wanting? Could be easily arranged." The doctor replied, again, awaiting Tali's answer.

"Well I want to do that, but I wanted to be in contact with someone. How could that be made possible? If it even is possible…" Tali said as she continued to avoid names and big details.

"Well that depends, Miss Zorah. What is the species, how long to you plan on being in contact with them, and how much contact would be made?" asked Mordin as he started to note her words.

Tali bit her lip and mustered up enough courage to say what needed to be said. "Human… A couple hours at most…" Tali paused for a long time.

"Yes, yes?" Mordin said, unable to wait any second longer, already forming guesses and what to say if she responded like he guessed she would.

"Possible sexual contact…" Tali said, squeezing out the last words.

Mordin's eyes widened but then returned to normal and he smiled. "Ah!" he said, as if he knew something or as if he expected her to say this. "Would this possibly be with Shepard?" he asked.

Tali began to blush under helmet. "I… uh… Well…" She paused. "Yes. It is."

"Knew it! Heard rumor about you two. Didn't know if true or not. Assumed it was." Mordin said, confident in his knowledge.

Tali seemed relieved at the fact that he expected these things and responded better than she thought. "So about the 'intimate' contact… is that possible?"

Mordin turned serious for a moment and looked her way. "As a doctor I must suggest that you not do this, Miss Zorah. Immune system should be built up first. Is not bulky enough to withstand sexual activity yet."

"Oh…" Tali said, as her heart began to sink.

"But. As friend and personal colleague, I might have some methods and remedies that could certainly help combat the dangers," Mordin said with a smile and a wink.

Tali instantly felt much better at the sight of the wink and at the sound of his statement. "So what would you suggest I do, Mordin?" She asked, eager to learn.

Mordin crouched down to access a cabinet and came back up. He emerged with 5 items. Three chemical filled syringes, one container of some kind of skin cream, and a data-pad with information on human male reproductive parts. He placed them down next to each other and began to explain them as Tali watched and listened.

"First, syringe of immuno-booster QNF-404. Helps bolster quarian immune systems. Second, syringe of immuno-booster QNF-764. Helps strengthen effects of QNF-404. Third, syringe of immuno-booster QNF-653. Helps prolong effects of other two boosters. Fourth, quarian muscle cream. Apply to skin to strengthen skin and inner muscles to block exterior infection. Finally, informative data-pad on male reproductive organs. Not necessary but will more than likely supply you with better information on functions than extranet will." Mordin said, without taking a breath.

Tali, excited and eager beyond belief, picked up the items and made her towards the door. "Thank you, Mordin. This really means a lot and it will help a lot too." She said opening the door.

"Oh, and Miss Zorah," Mordin said, causing Tali to turn around and look. "Pleased be careful."

"I promise Mordin." Tali said as she left and the door closed behind her.

* * *

"Shepard, please. Come. Have something for you." Mordin said, as he waved over the commander.

"Oh, a present for me? How thoughtful, Mordin." John said.

Mordin handed Shepard a glass container with a green ooze in it, and smiled as Shepard examined it and looked up.

"Uh, Mordin?"

"Yes, Shepard?"

"What is this stuff?"

"Shampoo. Will help clear out more advanced bacteria that have been possibly picked up from Collector ship." Mordin lied, reassuring the man.

Shepard, not knowing much about Collector science, said, "Well alright. I'll use it right away."

Mordin smiled and nodded as Shepard continued to the elevator so he get to his cabin and take a shower.

* * *

Tali stared intensively at the data-pad, reading every word, learning everything she could about Shepard's reproductive organ and how he used it. The data-pad also contained information about human mating and quarian mating so that she could compare and contrast the two. They actually weren't that different. Aside from Asari, quarians resembled humans more than any other race in the galaxy. Both races' females had breasts and similar lower body features and functions and entry points. She found it quite comforting to know that everything seemed like it would work out easy. Tali, put down the data-pad and smiled.

_Wow._ She thought to herself.

"Wow."


End file.
